Hey there shattered people.
I'm Lauralyn. The girlfriend.
As I sit on her bed, and watch her so peaceful. So innocent and vulnerable, I can't help but smile inside. Red Hot Chili Peppers is playing, as well as the white noise of a little back fan perched on the window sill.
I've never had someone like her in my life. Someone just as shattered and lost as I am. Guilt lingers in her head for things that weren't in her control. Scars of the past shine through her like a gold watch hitting the sunlight, just enough to catch your eye, but not enough really make you pay attention to the crisp details.
I pay attention tho. I watch her, study her life and little habits. I make sure she knows, that even if she falls, I'll be there. Grasping her tight and making her stable again. Her habits entise me. She laughs at me because I watch her all the time. But, the immaculate amount of love I have for this girl is unlike any feeling I've ever experienced.
Love is a beautiful thing, and aren't we supossed to know our partner like the back of our hand?
I'm slowing memorizing her quirks. Her unethical confusing and absolutely gorgeous quirks.
She has an odd taste in music, but I fall more in love with it all every day. She likes v8. Gross. But I kiss her after she drinks it anyways.
I'm an angry person. With demons that would scare Chriss Angel. But this girl? She makes me forget. She creates this shield of complete waves of calmness around my spinning head. She is a dose of intoxicating love that I didn't know was even possible.
I tend to be attracted to broken people. But her? No. She is something completely new to me. She makes my heart skip a beat on the daily. I have an impossibly undeniable and inevitable lust and want for her. And she loves it. I embrace her every thought. Her bad days are becoming something for me that I cannot even begin to think about living without. Her good days make everything in the world seem not so bad anymore. We laugh like no one could ever fathom, and when were not laughing, we're smiling. I've wrapped myself around her like a force field.
Recovering addicts. In a world of temptation. Surviving all of it together. Pushing through the painful thoughts and cravings. She makes my want for drugs go away. I've been sober for over 3 years now, but until I met her and kissed her impressively soft lips, I wanted to relapse so bad. Now, drugs aren't even an after thought for me.
How could such a broken soul, love another broken soul as if the world created us both to be together? How is it that I can completely lose my shit, and then look at her and forget everything bad though that was taking over my brain? Well, I'm not sure of an answer for that, but I know that I Love it. I love the fact that every thing others despise about me, she loves and adores. She shows me what it;s like not to be afraid of love anymore.
She's perfect. She grinds her teeth without thinking about it. So what do I do? I lay with her watching the goonies at 2am and stick my pinky in her mouth so her jaw doesn't hurt the next day. I let her see the fire inside of me when she kisses my body.
She caresses my body like its a fantasy. She kisses me like it would be the last kiss a dying soul would ever encounter. She dies a little when my sex eyes lock with hers. I've never been looked at the way she looks at me. We scream at the tops of our lungs at random cars on the roads that we love eachother. "I love this girl! I love this woman right here!" she screams. And I melt a little every time. She shows me off and makes it known that I am hers. Before her, I didn't know what it was like to be loved in public. It's crazy to me how someone like her could love someone like me. But I'm so glad she does.
There was no rhyme or reason for me to write this other than I fucking love her. I fucking love everything, every inch, every stretch mark and unwanted blemish, every curve and random long hair that doesn't go along with the flow of the rest of her hair. I fucking love her. I cannot announce it enough. I fucking love her and I cannot wait to see what this brutally estranged world has to offer us.
Do you know what purity is in the sense of love I'm blessed with?